Dominatrix in spanking bad time

Ah come on boys, everyone needs a bit of discipline.

Church ousts dominatrix from vicarage
Wed Mar 29, 2006 09:04 AM ET

JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) - A South African dominatrix has given up her battle to live in a vicarage, telling the church's congregation they can "shove" the disputed residence, a local newspaper reported Wednesday.
The Pretoria News said Marianne Ellis had been renting the manse, or vicarage, at the Doornkloof Nederduitse Gereformeerde Kerk near Pretoria for some time when church elders discovered her sideline as a local dominatrix and asked her to move.
Ellis and her husband at first sought to fight the church in court, but Tuesday decided to back down, the newspaper said.
"It is a long story, but basically I am tired of fighting, really tired. They can take their manse back, in fact they can shove it," she told the newspaper.
Ellis, who said she was promised a long lease and option to buy the vicarage, had earlier showed reporters her "torture chamber" at the house but said she never had sex with her clients and was not running a brothel.
Following the dispute with the church, Ellis told the Pretoria News she was temporarily calling a halt to her career.
"But I will crack the whip again after we have moved. Then I will be back with a vengeance," the newspaper quoted her as saying.

© Reuters 2006. All Rights Reserved.

in goldfish memoriam

If it wasn't enough having Meg, a clearly troubled 4-month-old goldfish, jump out of her bowl to an untimely death two weeks ago, Nazmira received startling news via sms this morning regarding Hercules; Meg's rambunctious mate.

"Nazmira, i said i wash your fish. i didnt think that the water is hot then the
fish died. i am so sorry. Zodwa"

off the chuckwalk...

An email from the Outer Limits...

The following email will prove that IT people should occupy their own genus in the biological classification table.

Subject: Supplier and depot lookup
Date: Thu, 23 Mar 2006 12:07:28 +0200

Attention!!!!!!The supplier and depot lookups have been changed. Dont
worry, your code WILL NOT BREAK!!!!

The supplier lookup now searches the depot table. The depot lookup (oddly enough) does the same. These two lookups will not be merged. The jsp for the supplier lookup will now display depot code as opposed to supplier code. If you look at the SupplierLookupAction, you will find that it still returns an object
of type Supp.

The Supp object will remain to be set on request as
LookupConstants.SUPPLIER_LOOKUP_RESULT. New!! The DepotBean object will be added to request as LookupConstants.SUPP_LOOKUP_DEPOT_BEAN for possible future use.

Please also note the following : Supp extends DepotBean Extends
SupplierBean

The depot lookup will look and work as normal. For now. A Depot object will be set on the request as LookupConstants.DEPOT_LOOKUP_RESULT. Note: Depot extends DepotWithContactsBean extends DepotBean extends SupplierBean

The sql for the loaders has altered slightly. If qrywrap is run it will
stuff up the loaders. I will then make it my lifes mission to hunt you down. You will not die, but you'll certainly pray for death. To avoid blood being shed, a new set of loaders have been created. They are :

DepotByCompRegNoLoader2.java
DepotByCountryCdeLoader2.java
DepotByDepCdeLoader2.java
DepotByDepNameLoader2.java
DepotByPkLoader2.java
DepotBySuppCdeLoader2.java
DepotByTaxRefNoLoader2.java
DepotLoader2.java
SupplierLoader2.java

A principal supplier lookup which searches the supplier table will be added by later today.

Long story short : Your code will not break, your life will go on. (possibly at the expense of my sanity)

Any questions??PS : Have a nice day

nuff said.

Chucked by the Cruywagen

While we Souf Efricans, fully appreciate the misty-eyed beauty and mastery of the entity that is The Chuck, we like our heroes like we like our biltong, homegrown and salty.
It is thus with great honour and heartful emotion that i present you with The RIAAN CRUYWAGEN.

I ripped this off from Critical View:

Riaan Cruywagen never has his back to you.....or does he? His back is in fact identical to his front except for a large conjoined twin: Tiaan Cruywagen.

Riaan Cruywagen is fluent in twenty seven of the eleven official languages.

Riaan Cruywagen knows the news before it happens.

Riaan Cruywagen had a telekinetic showdown with Johan Stemmet. After draining all of Stemmet's powers and rendering him severely retarded, he created Noot vir Noot and made Stemmet the host.

One night during an ad break on the 8 o'clock news, Riaan Cruywagen mentioned to the makeup lady that he was 'tired of this apartheid nonsense'. Nelson Mandela was freed from prison the next day.

When Sir Edmund Hillary reached the summit of Mount Everest, he was welcomed by Riaan Cruywagen, who briefly interviewed him, before wiring the information through to the SAUK.

The SAUK is actually a front for a secret society of Swiss Bankers who manipulate the world's economy, and his chaired by non other than his most Worshipful Master, Riaan Cruywagen.

V is for ...

Tell me, does movie popcorn still taste the same? It's been so long since I've stepped into a cinema, they may just have changed the recipe.

Quotes from the movie that tops my To-Watch list:

V: This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

Evey Hammond: Who are you?
V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what. And what I am is a man in a mask.
Evey Hammond: I can see that.
V: Of course you can. I am not questioning your powers of observation. I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.

V: Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. There is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof.

South African Human Rights Day

We have come a long way on the road that is longer still. May there come a time when Humanity defaults to humaneity and we no longer need to call a special day after Human Rights.

How we really won the cricket on Sunday...

on croissants and crunches

It was the muffle of squash-rubber being slammed against a wall; pock-bounce-pock-bounce-pock. And the warm aroma of subtle chlorine; like summer and the loveliness of floating. Seduction aural and olfactoral, I found myself with a 36 month Planet Fitness gym contract.
No random bourgeoisie phase this, but dire, dire necessity.
We've moved to new offices you see, and all it takes is a lift ride down to ground floor, a few inconsequential paces and before me lies satan in the forest (well, amid Jan Smuts traffic at least), Fournos Bakery. And that seduction of the senses is somewhat more headier, more base, more enticing. I know its just the home-sweet aroma of buttery rising dough and frisky yeast; those little unicellulars doing their darndest to deliver their destiny, which translates into me doing my darndest to deliver on my destiny, which is to sample every flake of pastry that was ever birthed in a Fournos oven.
So, in order to bring order to my universe, the force must be balanced and off to gym I go.
Where I have to undergo an initial assessment, the obvious simile: like a land mass before they begin construction. I'm required to hold what looks like an erstwhile PS2 control at arms-length, and press firmly with my palm and thumbs. Electrical impulses (of the no-buzz, no-fun kind) are transmitted through my body from this gameboy-poser, where their task is to report back to HQ with my fat cell census. Horror overtakes me. Hide little fat cells hide! We shall not be counted! Too late ... I had visions of little michelin-men struggling to bend over to tie up the laces on dusty running shoes, suddenly being rugby-tackled by these svelte electrons.
I'm handed a print out of my results in bitter, stark toner. Reality smacked me on what the results indicated was a lardy rear, "Get a move on, Fatty, You've got some real work to do."
Ah, the spirit is willing but the flesh, oh the flesh, is much much too weak.

Bravo amaGents

Another Proudly Souf Efrican moment, with Tsotsi taking home an Uncle Oscar.

do you mosh?

Metallica, Collective Soul, Seether, Simple Plan, The Rasmus, FatboySlim, Finkelsteins, Parlotones, Prime Circle, Flat Stanley, Sitter, State Far Better, spoonfeedas, Karen Zoid, Arno Carstens.

12 hours, 2 stages.

18 March, Supersport Park, Centurion.

The cheap tickets are R395.

Who's coming along? (and don't give me that crap about Swan Lake being on at the same time.)

coming out of the closet

Superman's got nothing on Vernon, the IT guy.
Check shirted, khaki clad, sensible shoed; this saviour of our troubled time flew into our new offices, commandeered the nearest keyboard, and fingers tapping faster than the speed of light, sound, and Chuck Norris combined, proceeded to network with an alarming yet thrilling alacrity. And for his final show of heroic hero-ness, Vernon of IT, gave us....oohs...aahs....a working adsl connection! Oh Vernon...swoon....

And yeah, that pretty much proves what I've known all along, but was just too afraid to acknowledge and embrace; I AM A GEEK. 24 hours without direct internet access, and I was two clicks away from convulsions and unladylike foaming at the mouth. But here I am, online and pacified...back in the womb, afloat in foetal fluid. (metaphors people, no ickiness or Matrix allusion intended)