can (and) did camera

So a certain bean-counter with a cause dared me to blog this:

Mandatory celeb-shmoozing with Presley Chweneyagae of Tsotsi fame/infame at the Vuka! awards last year. Best caption in the comment section wins a years-supply of email powerpoint forwards. (the brief is funny not nasty. meanie jibes will be deleted.)

no mama, no shot left at mcdonalds.

Ruth, our intrepid roving reporter braved rush-hour in a taxi to bring us this:

from the archives

Three poppies from back in the day, before we knew the things we know now, and after we learnt most of the important stuff. (lengthier feel-good retrospective inner-fuzzy-smiley aw-shucks-sweet post to follow.)

The Aveo gets its cherry popped

Before your mouth even begins to mould itself to prepare for the ejection of the phrase “women drivers!”, this was not my fault. My indicators were on, clearly doing its blinkety-blink-blink-tock-tock-tock. I was in the turning-lane when suddenly the truck next to me inched menacingly-portentously closer to my side mirror, and looked just about ready to process me into tinned-saaleha. Admittedly chick-panicked, I swerved and climbed onto the pavement, scraped my left-front tyre and twisted the rim. Fortunately, the rest of the car escaped unscathed. And thus was my first Incident With Car.

irony on the pitch

More Ad-Jam: The front page photo from today's Star, with some electric spaghetti commentary added, courtesy of photoshop. Yes, I know, trés insensitive, but it's the voices again, ignore them and they get nasty.
Foreign readers click here for the full story.

merci, merci beaucoup

Well, it's not International Burn-a-Dubya-Effigy Day, but it is certainly International Thank You Day, which should be celebrated with as much gusto and fanfare. So to kick-off, thank you Priya for being a bloggie-muse.

Thank you God, the Omnipotent, the Omniscient.
Thank you Mummy (who also turned 45 today) for giving me good genes and being a stellar role-model.
Thank you Granny. (despite the fact that you play the guilt-obligation-i-have-to-see-your-wedding-before-i-die card. love ya.)
Thank you Scaly for being the first entity to utterly shatter me and my naiveté as consequence. If it were not for your skank-ho antics back in the day, I would never have re-built myself into this somewhat wiser, seventh-fold stronger personality. (and I probably wouldn't have studied Journalism at Wits, I wouldn't have met the people I have, had the experiences I did... etc etc..)
Thank you to my most amazing friends for being shoulders, inspirations, sounding boards, ears, prozac and tissues. Thank you every single one of you (well, those who read the blog anyway:) yes, that's you MJ)
Thank you Boss-lady.
Thank you Mak, Speedy and Zee for contributing to the soundtrack of my life.
Thank you Imagine IP for providing me with the bandwidth that facilitates the process of developing the soundtrack to my life.
Thank you Boss-lady for paying for the bandwidth that facilitates the process of developing the soundtrack to my life.
Thank you Significant and Insignificant others for providing me with reams of excellent blog material and character ideas/plotlines.
Thank you words.
Thank you music.
Thank you creativity.
Thank you inspiration.
Thank you coffee.
Thank you rhythm.
Thank you mental imbalance.
Thank you delusions of grandeur.
Thank you impulsiveness.
Thank you Maliha, for bringing your smile into our tired lives.
Thank you Azaadville.
Thank you Blogger.
Thank you rebel-accountant for being the first to link to electric spaghetti and set this madness into motion.
Thank you to all the fans.
Thank you Felix for teaching me how to use taxis (yes, a makwere-kwere had to teach me, a jozi born-and-bred, how to use local transport).
Thank you Google.
Thank you the force that is the Internet.

thank you, thank you, silence.

on the drive - opening rituals

Car door locked (knee-jerk Jozi), window rolled down an inch give or take (precautionary habit even with anti-smash & grab tint), ignition keyed, radio face popped into the console, sound turned up, clutch, first gear, accelerate, the first song of the day, every day, play...

If I Ever Feel Better - Phoenix

They say an end can be a start
Feels like I've been buried yet I'm still alive
It's like a bad day that never ends

I feel the chaos around me
A thing I don't try to deny
I'd better learn to accept that
There are things in my life that I can't control

They say love ain't nothing but a sore
I don't even know what love is
Too many tears have had to fall
Don't you know I'm so tired of it all

I have known terror dizzy spells
Finding out the secrets words won't tell
Whatever it is it can't be named
There's a part of my world that' s fading away

You know I don't want to be clever
To be brilliant or superior
True like ice, true like fire
Now I know that a breeze can blow me away

Now I know there's much more dignity
In defeat than in the brightest victory
I'm losing my balance on the tight rope

chorus:
Tell me please, tell me please, tell me please...If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know

Hang on to the good days
I can lean on my friends
They help me going through hard times

But I'm feeding the enemy
I'm in league with the foe
Blame me for what's happening
I can't try, I can't try, I can't try...

No one knows the hard times I went through
If happiness came I miss the call
The stormy days ain't over
I've tried and lost know I think that I pay the cost

Now I've watched all my castles fall
They were made of dust, after all
Someday all this mess will make me laugh
I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait...

chorus

It's like somebody took my place
I ain't even playing my own game
The rules have changed well I didn't know
There are things in my life I can't control

I feel the chaos around me
A thing I don't try to deny
I'd better learn to accept that
There's a part of my life that will go away

Dark is the night, cold is the ground
In the circular solitude of my heart
As one who strives a hill to climb
I am sure I'll come through I don't know how

They say an end can be a start
Feels like I've been buried yet I'm still alive
I'm losing my balance on the tight rope
Tell me please, tell me please, tell me please...

chorus x2

notes from the first 2K7 weekending

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Just for you Aadi

Even skeletons need to be dusted off from their cupboard shelves and taken out for a walk sometimes.

And the company along the way is always appreciated.

'Coz those bones get too heavy for just one person to hold.

And rather two people looking the fool walking around a park with their arms full of vertebrae, fibulae and tarsals, than one silly girl who's a banana slice short of a fruit-salad.

The Mandatory New Years Post

Anti-Resolutions 2007

• Drink lots of carbonated, sugary soft drinks made by multi-national corps with Zionist leanings.
• Chat on Mxit while attending social events.
• Maintain a 50km radius between myself and the gym at any given time.
• Sleep more.
• There is nothing wrong with writing “research” on your time-sheet for three hours spent online reading personal blogs.
• Ignore people in general. Especially those who smile too much. They know something you don't.
• All is fair in love and parking.
• Smoking at least 8 cigarettes a day means more jobs for little kids picking tobacco leaves in South America.
• Empower beggars by giving them a Rand for every Elton John song they know. It's a hand-up not a hand-out
  
• Litter.
• Remember that reading celebrity gossip contributes to your knowledge of Current Affairs.
• Use “lol” and “kewl” more often in daily offline conversations.
• Forward those delightful power-point kitsch presentations to everyone in my contact list, because nothing says I think you're special quite like Spam.
• Break a few hearts.

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Acid aside, may the defining essence of 2007 be that of meaningful sacrifice; that of giving up all which lessens you by taking on those things that demand of you.

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Clouds transgress the sun at Hartebeespoort Dam on Christmas Day 2006.