Monday, June 12, 2006

Negotiating a learning curve... (part one)

Lesson One: Don't slam on the brakes.

And don't ask the Almighty for clarity, when you'd rather be steeped in blissful ignorance.

I'm just five days away from 23, apparently this will firmly entrench me into the "Responsible Adult" category. As for the responsible bit, apparently this is defined by some as the number of 'non-frivolous' payments that debit your account after payday. Though one additional payment will be a welcome one ... Chevrolet Forever :)

The past weekend was perhaps the most treacherous of learning curves I've had to negotiate (hence, blog post title). It's a tough lesson to learn when the you're the subject. One who was Significant, suddenly not so much so, and I admit, I'm left reeling.
The conflict; a violence on my thought processes. And then, the clich├ęd bargaining with Allah, asking Him for a signpost to sanity. And when it presented itself, the wish that I'd never asked for directions, that I was better off cruising.

But now, I've quit being the stubborn Muslimah. There is a sweet, airy freedom in submission. I'll walk the path, alone if that is my fate, but walk the path I shall.

8 comments:

realist said...

I can totally relate to this piece – Just over the weekend I had a chat with my sister asking her if it’s ok to pray for numbness – a place where nothing shakes the equilibrium and there’s no need to explore for signposts either. Perhaps it’s just the pessimist in me coming to the fore. I however, do take comfort in the impermanence of it all.

Godspeed on the recovery.

Sometimes I think we're alone. Sometimes I think we're not. In either case, the thought is staggering.
R. Buckminster Fuller

Fatima said...

aah yes.
i think many people can relate to this -
including myself (even though i don't want to).
a little bit of patience.
a little bit of time.
and a little bit of sanity is just what you need.
i wish there was a potion to cure it.
just take a big gulp and all will be alright.

zee said...

i'm speechless...who knows what lies ahead, but just remember that all works out in the end - it always does

Bilal said...

we plot and plan, but God is the best of planners...
keep the flag of faith flying high and all will be great...

brainhell said...

Allah probably doesn't mind if you use a little Buddha (the philosophy!), or at least, not the Allah that I hope you have. Any sane suitor would be clamboring for you: Sensitive, poetic, caring, smart AND lovely. Good thing the insane one is gpoing away. Be young. Be happy.

Jammy said...

Keep smiling.. n thank Allah for what u have not for what u don't.

Dave said...

It wouldn't be worth getting to where you're going if it were easy.
Sounds like you made the choice with guidance from the top, so try not to doubt it.

Ruby :) said...

I can definitely relate to your predicament. But, everything happens for a reason, and its all Takdir at the end, we get what it written out for us, and i think if we pray hard enough, the bad gets taken away, and even if we left alone, its far better than being stuck with the bad thats changes you as a person and makes you even badder... I read an article that said.. "We are born alone, we get sick alone and we die alone"... What happens in between is just the journey of life that we all have to take!!

Profane. Profound. What's your poison?