Sunday, November 12, 2006

the return to mIRC...(2)

It’s my masochistic streak that pulls me towards Zanet on IRC, or perhaps it’s my misguided sense of idealism that there may still exist a community of iconoclasts and anarchists for justice who believe the world could do with a vigorous shakedown.
But again, I emerge disappointed and disillusioned at the quality of the South African educational system, the family dynamics of our communities and the socialisation processes of which all of these chatters are product.

Here, I walk through the mindfield of generalisation (I’m fully aware that not all chatters can be lumped together, so consider this the disclaimer. It is not my intent to be vitriolic)

Barely functionally literate, I am astounded that many are even tech-savvy enough to operate computers, cellphones and software applications.
Even if you believe IQ tests are flawed and culturally-biased, you will agree that most of these kids (who are first language English speakers) would have a tough time on any sort of test that involved general knowledge, literary comprehension and advanced vocabulary.

What follows is the verbatim exchange of a waste of irony and perfectly good sarcasm-

handSum_dude: Hi
me: Hi
handSum_dude: how u
me: well and you
handSum_dude: kewl aslr
me: 23 f jhb
handSum_dude: ru hot?
me: Eh?
me: what do you mean?
handSum_dude: R u hot?
me: By whose standards?
handSum_dude: Lyk goodlooking
handSum_dude: By u own standards
me: Well, no one makes the sign of the cross at my approach so I’m fortunate like that I guess.
handSum_dude: By u standards u hot
handSum_dude: Ment ur
me: ur? What is ur? Universal retard?
handSum_dude: Your
me: Oh
handSum_dude: Bye nice chatin
me: Ok
me: Handsum eh?
handSum_dude: Wat
me: Is that like a euphemism for wanker? You’re quite brave to have that as a nick
handSum_dude: Y?
me: Well, you’re being honest, lots of chatters hide behind nicks that declare themselves as gorgeous, attractive human beings, and you’re just telling it like it is. Hello World. This is me.
handSum_dude: Ya.
me: Respect man, respect.


*in all my years chatting, I’ve only been asked what my ‘r’ was twice and both occasions were fairly recent. I don’t see how race is fundamental to an online exchange. We recently buried an apartheid stalwart (google "groot krokodil") and people who ask such frivolities are better off munching mud too.


isheeta said...

oh god that was retarded. The 'handsum' dude I meant.

I gotta go all retarded here though saleeha, whats 'r'?

Ruby :) said...

hey saals: it that the type of dumb-asses that sit on IRC .. i havent been on in about 7 yrs.. i didnt even know what 'R' stood for till i got to the end of your post... lol he must be one of those stupid sods that think they god's gift to mankind..

Anonymous said...

Can you seriously go on to IRC and expect anything better? Used to spend time on it couple years back and was amazed at the idiots about back then.Can only imagine how bad it has gone.Have to admit though that i did make a few friends who a still good friends so maybe there is some light at the end of the tunnel.But I figure it just too much effort sifting through the dirt for diamonds.

Bilal said...

lol- i like! kinda fits in with the theme of my new blog:)
most people reading this will really enjoy it:P

& as i said the other day about mxit- the same applies to mirc:P

Saaleha said...

but I didn't understand this. Iconoclasts??!! Vitriolic??!!! definitly not literate enough to be using this machine!
IRC. Help!! just shows up my age eh?

the guy who writes this crap said...

"euphemism for wanker"; "universal retard"... wow...that was cold, saaleha. you are my new hero!
That was one stoopid dude - he didn't seem to understand what you were saying lol!
IRC hasn't been populated by intelligent lifeforms since the mid/late nineties, but i still go on there sometimes to mock those people. 'tis fun.

Muhammad said...

Hey don't diss the handsum dude... He's only ONE of a VERY MANY just like him... growing up not being able to pull chicks because of his Stupidity/Naivete/Immaturity and using the internet to hone his skills but ending up in the same spot he is in real life.

but hey its a life experience... not many people would give an answer like Saaleha's to shock the Newbie into a state of thinking which says "Hey, WTF am I doing? Oh My God, this is SO LAME!"

Let's pray for their guidance, word?


The Organ Harvester said...

I sometimes wonder if the people who make a lifestyle will end up British MPs who wear lady's knickers and plastic bags over their head. Just another reason to use a condom, support abortion and if all else fails, beat your retarded kids with an angry rattle snake. That would make a great advert for safe sex. showing a kid on Irc. "this could be your kid. Use a condom and prevent the spread of supidity"


Anonymous said...

"Handsum" dudes are always the dumbest dudes. ;)


Ahmed said...

LOL thats hilarious! The irony and sarcasm may have been wasted on him, but it certainly made me laugh. :)

saaleha said...

for the benefit of the other Saaleha -
check out

the guy who writes this crap said...


saaleha said...

my doppelganger -

a neat twilight zone moment.

Anonymous said...

Do people stil chat on irc?Like wow amazing and honestly saaleha they wer always that shallow.
Its strange how everyone asks about race you'd think that they ay technology has transcended boundaries it wouldn't exist or maybe i'm the naive one ;)
IRC *sigh* who would think we started usiing that back in the urr wait wat was is hmmmm 90somethings :)

kimya said...

the r thing really got my attention.. the fact that it came along so generally means its gotta be a part of common chat terminology? so much for simple, tolerant, non-racial muslimness.
wow, we wouldnt want ppl chattin to the wrong rAce grOUp! heaVens nO!


now if we moved the chat room to the real world.. would these same handsum ppl be so brazen as to actually approach you and make conversation? So, how old are you and where are you from and hmm, any racial afflictions in ur family tree??// an ideal new nick would be, Pure_Race or most gamblers of the CHat world might more readily plAce their BEts on 'tHoroughBred'.. Handsum, especially if its spelt with so little confidence, might not quite shoot to win :P

kimya said...


my poiNt? mirc is a psychology of marketing for most, and these mirc users obviously fail dismally in either trying too hard to be handsUm. the entertainment value is undeniable though! :)

queen_Lestat said...

lol, I've lost most respect for irc, especially the "slum" #'s, find it sad that the people everyone would be the first to slam and brand heretics are actually much more tolerant and far less stupid.

Where's bella? lol she sees the TONS of logs I have with regards to the idiot plantation.

Anonymous said...

Here I am QL! I'm going through everyone's blog with my teeny cellphone screen-yay for Opera!
QL and I seem to attract less intelligent life forms on irc and we share logs for the entertainment factor.
But now I just ignore those with the "asl" question as I know that the next question will be,"u hot?" and if i decide to answer it will be "as hot as jahannam to you".

fatima said...

hmm the above comment is me, Fatima aka bella. Apologies, I can't seem to login to blogger! The 'R' in 'aslr' is mxit jargon that's been adopted by new generation ircers. And that's when I click "ignore" ;-)
Great post Saaleha :-)

HandSum_Dude said...

yo, why you all cumming down on me so hard??? i'm just a regula
good looking onanist lookgin 4 friends on irc. why you wanna playa h8 on me, huh???
so...hello dere,ladies...aslr??

Ruby :) said...

i may have missed something.. but saaleha.. how did handsome dude jump from bugging you on irc, onto your blog? potential to being a stalker hey...

zee said...

i havent seen the window frame of an irc page in like....shit 8 yrs maybe????

BUT yes i am on msn...but thats different! i know who im speaking to so if i sound like an idiot, its probably cause i am one;)

Moe said...

Why are you all so suprised? Really its all the same.ever chat on mxit? u'll c my point. for the sake of not sounding too old but lets face it, the trend is young and immature so i think like us they too will grow up and become more mature and that phase of their lives will end. and young and immature people will take thier place.

Priya said...

you are so right saal. i even stopped going on mxit. 2 resons:
1. only idiots/teeny boppers/pedophiles are on
2. it made me seem very old. :)

but chatrooms have become a royal waste of time...

Anonymous said...

o ye pretentious love to see a blog by handusm dude & his ilk about all of you and your perspectives/condescensions: they think theyre smart, but at the end of the day they just like us, looking for COMPANY.& mirc&mxit cant be worse than watching tv!& if they're so smart and so cool why do they log in?AND they're older, when im THAT old, with a car and more cash, im going to LIVE, i wont be on mirc&mxit. & i would have enough real friends, or at least important stuff to be busy with

The K-man said...

mIrc hmmm I havent chatted on there in an age and thank God for that. Nowadays its more like a asylum for the clinically stupid. The "slmz asl" generation should be dragged out and shot repeatedly for crimes against humanity.


FU said...

geez louise.. post already.. i've been reading this convo for YEARS now.

saaleha said...

In response to anonymous:

Firstly a name would be nice, I'm sure your mum wouldn't like for people to refer to her offspring as "what's its face".
I too would like to see a blog by handsum dude and his ilk, once they've figured out how to work the blogger dashboard, I'd even link to it.
Perhaps i should have highlighted my disclaimer in mIRC colours so that you wouldn't have missed the part where i said i was making a generalisation (google it if you're not too certain about the definition)

"AND they're older, when im THAT old, with a car and more cash, im going to LIVE, i wont be on mirc&mxit. & i would have enough real friends, or at least important stuff to be busy with"
- it's so heartening to encounter such youthful optimism. I'll ignore your 'that old' remark, this old gal still sees herself as something of a spring chicken. sticks and stones.

Anonymous said...

handsum_dude u lyk so messed with the wrong girl.
You ROCK saaleha!

Profane. Profound. What's your poison?