Thursday, March 29, 2007

this time from Ougadougou

From: mutamuta baruka
Reply to:
Date: Mar 27, 2007 12:00 PM


Dear Friend,

I am DR MUTA BARUKA, bill and exchange manager at the foreign remittance department of BANK OF AFRICA. I got your contact from the internet ,while seaching for an honest and trust worthy person, who will assist me to implement this transfer. l discovered the sum of Twenty Two million and five hundred thousand United States Dollars (USD22.5M) belonging to a deceased customer of this bank.

The fund has been lying in a suspence account without anybody coming to put claim over the money since the account owner late Mr Salla khatif from Lebanese , who was involved in the December 25Th 2003 Benin plane crash. Here is the air crash
The said fund is now ready for transfer to a foriegn account whose owner will be portrayed as the beneficiary and next of kin to the deceased customer of the bank. Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it unless somebody applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidlines and laws but unfortunately we learnt that all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at the plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I decided to make this business proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and I don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as unclaimed bill.

The banking law and guidline here stipulates that if such money remained unclaimed after five years, the money will be transfered into the bank treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and a Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner. I therefore soliciting for your assistance to come forward as the next of kin, I have agreed that 40% of this money will be for you as the beneficiary in respect of the provision of your Account and services rendered, 55% would be for me while 5% will be for expencses incured during the cause of this transaction If the money is transferred to your Account from BANK OF AFRICA, I and my family in this transaction will proceed immediately to your country for our own share of the money.

I expect you to keep this business strictly confidential and secret as you may wish to know that I am Bank official. Be rest assured that this business is 100% riskfree on both side and every arrangement to transfer this money to the Account you are going to provide have been concluded provided we maintain the confidentiality and secreceirity involved.

1.your sex

2.your age


4.your nationality

5.telephone no.

I am looking forward for your prompt response.

Yours faithfully,



From: Saaleha Bamjee
Date: Mar 29, 2007 11:01 AM

Dear Mutamuta Baruka,

Your name instills in me the maddening urge to put your moniker to music, something with a spicy-latin beat, like a rumba or a sexy samba. Can you hear my maraca's baby? - "boom, chicky boom chi, muta-muta, ba-ruka, boom, chicky boom, chi."

But I digress, I don't usually get people emailing me when they search the internet for terms such as honest and trustworthy. Certainly not after that misunderstanding with the orphanage lunches and my account at Prada. How much do four-year-olds need to eat anyway?

Anyhoo, the sum of Twenty Two million and Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars (USD22.5M) held in a "suspence" account (i have a suspense account too. my creditors are always wondering when they'll get paid -grin-) could not have come at a better time.

However, since joining the Church of Former Day Heavenly Goody's Latter Day Rumble In The Jungle, I've learnt the path of selflessness and would prefer that the money be sent to a better cause.

Hence, I attach the details of a noble movement to which I feel all these monies be directed:

The Friends of Jacob Zuma Trust
First National Bank
Durban, South Africa
Branch Code: 221426
Cheque Account number: 62087217818

Thanking you Kindly,

Saaleha Bamjee


Waseem said...

lol I always get these stupid letters and somehow they avoid my spam filter. Ill keep this in mind and reply to one next time. I wonder if you'll get a reply lol

SingleGuy said... surely have tooooo much time on your hands...

Moe said...

LOL nice one o honest and trustworthy saaleha! hehe. just for records sake if they steal from Mr stealing from a thief better or just as bad as stealing from average Joe?

anyway the techie in me is coming out but did you know, they recently ran a test where hackers are able to trace the one time password your bank sends you when doing Internet banking, however since then most banks have encrypted this message and it is now secure...later your Friend dr muta baruka (agreed does have nice rhyme hehe)

Anonymous said...

That's freaking brilliant!
Let's hope that their little scheme works :P

And yes Mr Muta Baruka does have a "song-and-dance" name :P

moe: that's scary! eeek! but i'm glad it's secure now :)

the guy who writes this crap said...

hehe - poor dr.'ll get a bad reputation with these spammers if you keep this up, saaleha. you don't want that, now do you?

J. Zuma said...

Dear Ms. Saaleha
i have enough problems. I do not need more spam to add to them.

thanking you kindly,
Jacob Zuma

p.s. why you wanna be playa hatin' on me??

Anonymous said...


Sal you rock.

su said...

someone named 'jacob zuma' once 419-ed me...
that was right after the freemasons wanted to let me join them...
and that was after i won the indonesian lottery for the 16th time...

saal, i think you've inspired me to spread their messages...
there really are 'worthier' souls out there

Sofi said...

lol. is this for real, i.e your reply?

The K-man said...

hehehehehe. Only you saals hehe

Priya said...

you read your spam?! i happily put pressure on the delete button! but these spammers surely need the entertainment you give them... brilliant. :)

Anonymous said...

Hey :)
Congrats for coming out #8 for Best Writing on a SA blog.
In fact congrats for being nominated!
That's awesome if you think about it - so many contenders out there.
Well done Saals :)

Ooh..and I just saw a quickie video of the awards:

mazozo said...

Lol well done Saals for the award and hey keep the entertaing thoughts roling

deadcrab said...

If there is one thing worse than these dumb letters, its that there are people out there that are dumb enough to fall for it....I dealt with a similar 419 cell based in JHB in a past life...we got onto them through a phone call from a lady in Brazil who was trying to make the transfer of $10 000 to a company account but was having trouble with our swift codes...sometimes makes me think they deserve to be had O_o

Ariel said...

Nice. I got a similar email, but I can't say I put the same creativity into an answer. :)

bibi-aisha said...

Without even opening them, I always know its going to be these annoying letters. Iv contemplated replying but too much bother!Nowadays I get at least one a day. AArgh!! A friend in Egypt rcvd one of these last yr & actually believed it. And didnt want to believe me when I told her it was a hoax! Such innocence..

queen_Lestat said...

Guess if it works on the jayzee fund, we all know who's getting raped this time...

queen_Lestat said...

efffggh stupid blogger won't sign me in anyways only half of that published.Supposed to be:

queen_Lestat said...

Guess if it works on the jayzee fund, we all know who's getting raped this time...

...And no amount of showering's gonna clean that money out

Delon said...

You creativity in that one... eish, words escape me. About a guy in Lagos?

Anonymous said...

Money Laundering QL!

FU said...

who is jacob zuma??

i feel dumb.. but the rest of it was funnnny.

Anonymous said...

lol..nice reply

ok south africans...someone is asking if they should move from England to South Africa... comments from you folks will be appreciated... one person is hating on South Africans though :)

Muhammad said...

Shame man, leave the poor nigerians alone... word up to, these guys give them enough hell.

Funny stuff Saal...I assume this was practice for your day job?



Dew said...

lmao at chicky boom boom song fit.

Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills said...

i've never got one of these....wonder why...?
maybe i'm not honest and trustworthy.....hehe....

j. said...

well, really. if this is what rasta dub poetry will do to you... (

t.a.z. said...

LOL LOL LOL. you're not meant to READ spam though :P

Beavis & Butthead said...

beavis : plz read it for me

butthead : it's too much

beavis : yeah true . fuck it.

*Beavis & Butthead lights a bla and walk away*

Beavis & Butthead said...

beavis : plz read it for me

butthead : it's too much

beavis : yeah true . fuck it.

*Beavis & Butthead lights a bla and walk away*

Cape Town's Favourite Son said...

I still don't really understand how the whole 419 scam works. Can they somehow steal your salary once they your bank details? Do they frustrate you to death with their bad spelling and grammar? Someone said they end up kidnapping you, but if you're really dumb enough to fly all the way to Nigeria or the Congo, then you kind of have it coming.

Profane. Profound. What's your poison?