Monday, November 17, 2008

nauseatalgic (i like this word, i think i'll keep it)

I swear, I will not post any more of these nausea-talgics and time capsule things again.

date: 17 November 2008 16:00
subject: greetings from 2005

Greetings from your past. In the fall of 2005, you agreed to receive this message, which has been preserved for a year in the E-Mail Time Capsule. For more details, visit

Here is the text of your message:

hey there dollie,

Hope this finds you well, smiling and happy.

are you married to your soul mate yet?

what's been happening since we last left?
right now, i'm sitting in Paula's home office, messing around on the internet when i really should be making headway with the investigative journalism conference logistics.

the currents in my life>
-*-the one that got away
-***-a distant friendly distraction
-****-the blind date (who i'll be chatting to this Friday)

i wonder which of these have stuck around.

I hope you've made some progress with your writing and all the big dreams that you've had at the tender age of 22 have translated into a little reality.

mwah and hugs

your past Self-


(how long is your hair now? and have you lost all the weight? more importantly-do you have your driving license and a car?)


Hey there littler Saaleha,

Good Lord, weren't you the über bubblygum back then, with alphabet-case issues, and your head full of boys.
Thank the Almighty you don't 'dollie' and 'mwah' that often anymore. 

Well, lil ditzy Sal, none of those okes are of any weight to you now. 
But, you'll be pleased to hear that you have indeed married your soulmate, a boy from the 'ville, would you bloody believe it. Of the ghaam too, despite all your protestations that you'd never get with one of the People of The Cook Book.

You've also been with the company through three other Investigative Journalism conferences, and while you don't handle logistics anymore, you still mess around on the net when you should be making headway with other things. You're also thinking that a bit of R&D is as good as some R&R and may find yourself in a different kind of workspace next year.

You lost the weight. Then you gained the weight. Then you lost some more. Then you got that happy stomach and funtastic forearms and now you're planning on going back to gym. Tomorrow.

The hair is short. You've never had it so short. They even shaved off some from your neck. But that's also because you Bhamjee's lean towards the hirsute, rocking the bad moon rising and all.

Yes, you drive and you have a Chevy Aveo that your husband won't acknowledge because it isn't german-made. He also thinks it's a big blue shelf in the garage. You drove off to work one morning, with his spectacles, garage-card and cd flying off the roof and making violent kissie-kissie with the tar. He got most of his stuff back and had to cancel the card. You're kinda sure he still loves you.

Ah the writing. Let's not talk too much about the writing. You were more confident back then. But you have been accepted for a MA programme in 2010. We'll talk then.

And the big dreams, well, you're living one of them, and you're pretty much on track on the trek. You just need to be a bit more zenlike about things. 
Like Water.

You're  still clumsy. I know you didn't ask but you should know anyway.


Muhammad said...

Toast to the Future. Change is inedible. :)

ZK said...

How much do things change and its only been three years :)
O wel thank god its no more dollie Hehe
You forgot to inform your past that you also have a tendency to erase databases rofl

GeekiSiddiqui said...

Its funny how the things you think about magically appear sometimes. Just yesterday I was thinking of doing of these time delayed emails to myself and then voila, today I see your post :)

Its pretty interesting how quickly things change, and also how much things stay the same. Congrats on being accepted into the MA program :)

Nooj said...

this is soooo funny :D
*giggly appreciation to nauseatalgic and people of the cook book*
i'm too scared to talk to my future self. she'd probably shout me for procratinating right now...

Azra said...

This was FANTASTIC!! I loved every second of reading it! Definitely one of the best posts I've ever read.

LOL...Funny but its true, we're changing all the time.

I like the nostalgia...dont feel guilty :P

PS. I know I definitely over-share...but I dont care...hey that rhymes :D

Waseem said...

happy endings happen in reality :)

I should write one of these to myself, but im kinda scared i wont get same wonderful results and push me over the edge into depression 3 years from now

Anonymous said...

lol i love doing that one and get pleasantly surprised when i realise the amount that i've been through since i sent it to myself.

one was about, "if you're reading this in 6 months and you're still crying over your broken heart...GET OVER IT WIMP!"

past me was rather nasty to current me.

back to your post, i really loved it. i love the soul mate question. it's a positive question... :)
i do think that your car has it's own way of having revenge on your SO. well, that's what i like to think of it ;) Saaleha's SO please acknowledge the aveo and your personal possessions won't face destruction again! ;)

"violent kissie kissie with the tar" is my favourite line this post.
you made me smile at 09:18 on 18 November 2008 after having a terrible two days. thank you :)

bb_aisha said...

My sisters & I did a 'five year from now' forecast back in 1998. We hid the book, & it took us ages to find it five years later. Our predictions rang true in some ways & were way off the mark in others.
We were most wrong about me, simply because none of us could ever have predicted one aspect of my life...

Anyways, this was definitely a wonderful read. I'm tempted to do one too now.
I echo Mak-here's a toast to the future

KimyaShafinaaz said...

hey! this is freaky... this time travel thing! im not gna dare it... but congrats on the MA... fun reads n things... blue shelves in the garage need acknowledement.. i have a theory about things that listen to you, and have a mind of their own... like refrigerators that pack up when you have free cash to buy a new laptop or SLR or something.. sigh. be nice to the aveo :P

Khadija said...

nauseatalgic- Loving it, certainly one for the lexicographers over at OED to mull over. :)

Work in Progress said...

Hey awesome post. Past me would probably be pretty surprised at where current me is. Ah, I guess life is full of surprises, who knows where we'll be in three years? I'm not sure I have the guts to pen it down... Congrats on the MA programme :)

Dew_drops said...

Ah this was lovely and amazing to read! Thanks for that. I didn't know about these things. I think I will do one...but I'd be really afraid also.
Aw I love old you, and new you. You're so cool! (lol, that sounds sarcastic but I'm being serious)

Profane. Profound. What's your poison?